Today's Beauty Way Invitation: One Small Piece of Gorgeousness

In the Sacred Living Movement, we talk often of the Beauty Way of living. Simply put, it's a way of being present to our lives, and how we can deeply nourish ourselves and those around us by consciously bringing beauty to our internal and external spaces.

The Beauty Way is one of the greatest lessons, both for birth work, and for motherhood- and yes, for ALL of my crazy, full, gorgeous, blessed life- from working and learning through Sacred Pregnancy. It's something I come back to again and again.

Today, it's time to offer a little challenge- no, an invitation. This is for you, if you already walk in the Beauty Way. It's also for you if you've never thought or heard of the Beauty Way before. It's especially for you if you consciously or unconsciously are repelled to the concept of beauty, because hell, it is a concept that has been so twisted by our mainstream culture (if this is you, try this: what is one item I could place in my space, or on my body, that would open my heart a little more? That's all. Be gentle. This is your work alone).

So here is my invitation:

What is ONE SMALL THING you can do, right now, in the busiest spot of your home, to bring in walking in the Beauty Way?

Some ideas:

*Lighting your favourite incense in the entry way\
*Making your bed neatly and lovingly
*Placing flowers in the kitchen

Then, what is ONE SMALL THING you can do, right now, to nurture your own body in beauty?

Some ideas:

*Make a simple body scrub from raw sugar and coconut oil, and exfoliate your skin
*Pick a flower and put it in your hair (a great activity to share with little ones!)
*Stop and STREEETCH and find your favourite yoga position.

Here's my little beauty way moment, inspired by a line in this awesome India.Arie song...

"Sometimes I shave my legs, and sometimes I don't. Sometimes I comb my hair, and sometimes I won't. Depending on the way the wind blows, I might even paint my toes..."

Painting my toenails...and my, didn't they look sweet with my favourite shoes and my new wrap skirt...

Okay...now go and do it! Get your Beauty Way on, and post a pic in the comments! Enjoy!

An Invitation to Love

This post is dedicated to my partner Zai, and the love that endures between the two of us. May it deepen and expand through the years. 

Photo found on Pinterest

Last month, my partner went travelling. He attended a wedding in England and then spent some lazy weeks pottering around Europe. He explored neolithic villages, saw the full moon rise at Stone Henge, and cycled through the back streets of Barcelona. 

And children and I- we stayed at home.

It was an epic challenge for me, at least in my mind. It was up there with labour, which for me is one of the  ultimate challenges and rites of passage a woman can go through.

And I admit, it was the unravelling of me. Not when he was gone, but in the months leading up to the trip, knowing he was going, knowing he had made the choice to go, knowing that I would have to delve into new parts of myself to shift from the way we have mostly equally coparenting, at least from when our second child came into the world, to being absolutely, radically, self reliant, and accountable to these three precious beings. I cried, I screamed, I channeled my hurting bleeding heart.  I doubted our relationship. Mostly I doubted myself.

What did I need to do? Trust, surrender, love. That old mantra, gifted to me by my third son and his blazing arrival into our lives, the mantra that seems to apply to anything and everything in my life. It would be okay. There would be gifts.

The greatest gift, it was revealed, was the stripping away. My partner and I rescinded our roles to each other as co-parents and as housemates. Wow, how encompassing those roles had become, without us seeing it! How much of our interactions- and, to be truthful, our frustrations and dynamics with each other- were wrapped up in parenting our children together, and sharing domesticity.

Within hours of watching his plane fly off into the ether, I was struck down by two things: firstly, a deep sense of missing him, of his presence travelling further and further away, faster than the speed of sound. And secondly, from that great heart-spaced emptiness, what flowed in: the realisation that I LOVED him, so deeply, so strongly, so purely. When all else was taken away, what was left was love, and for some reason, I hadn't expected that.

Photo found on Pinterest

So the lesson, for me, in this experience that I fought against for so long:

Open up to the raw places, the places that make you feel abandoned, empty and alone: what do you find there?

Photo found on Pinterest

(It's a great lesson for love relationships, but I am thinking right now, it would be great for relationship with the self too).

And I invite you, dear reader, to this: How can you open up to the raw places today? How can you create a place where you let go of expectations, of relationship dynamics, of feelings of security? What happens when you do?

I actually want you to go and do this. What are you holding onto so tight, and what happens when you let go, for just a little while? What sparkling little lessons rush into that empty space? Share your story in the comments, if you feel to.

© Sammi Cambray/Sacred Whisper Bellingen 2014

Sammi is a holistic doula and birth counsellor, and the publisher of Sacred Whisper Bellingen

Ph: 0418 950 793

The Evolution Of Food...on a family level

Yes, things have been very quiet here at Sacred Whisper Bellingen for a few weeks.

My partner, Zai, was given the opportunity to travel around Europe for a month (and had some amazing experiences). My life during this time became very focused: the wellbeing of myself and my children, our sweet little rhythm, and very little else.

This simple and unhindered presence to my family and it's intimate inner workings shone a light on a few areas that just clearly weren't working as well as they could. Little lost opportunities for meeting people's needs better, more sustainably, and the wise little life lessons that are inherently part of living a conscious lifestyle.

The biggest evolution for us here- the natural process of something clearly being unworkable, experimenting with solutions, and integrating a new way of being into our lives together- was the way we do food. 

Photo sourced from Pinterest

Food is big in our family. Zai's passion is food and cooking and the divine alchemy he undertakes from raw ingrediants, coming up with something far greater than the sum of the parts (psst...the secret ingrediant is love. And probably cumin seeds). And having three growing children...yes, food is a big part of our day.

In our family we had been following a standard traditional food rhythm for a long time. Breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, and a focal point of dinner at the end of the day. Some of us are vegetarian, and some of us eat meat.

But some problems were definately showing up. The kids would be requesting their next meal (read: I'm huuuuungry, in that voice only children can use). I would prepare the next meal and one of two things would happen:

1. Two bites would be taken, and they would be full.

2. "I DON'T LIKE THIS!!" (Also in that voice- and pitch- only children can create. Optional: a thrown fork/spoon/tantrum)

Occasionally, there was also 3. They ate it happily (mostly if involves rice, tamari and sunflower seeds, every child's favourite meal in my house.)

So, I was finding I was dealing with a lot of wasted food. One benefit: our chooks were extremely well fed and happy. But I wasn't happy. On a deep level, it doesn't feel right to be wasting food. And it's not just the food, it's the time and effort that goes into preparing it- and I'm sure you can relate to those days that I felt I was simply preparing food, serving it, and cleaning up after it all day.

Photo sourced from Pinterest

There was another dynamic going on here. My children, bless them, are beautifully independant creatures. Even the youngest of them knows how to push the chair up against the bench to climb up and get a piece of fruit from the fruit bowl. I would often find them making honey sandwiches or preparing themselves some snack I probably wouldn't condone.

I love their independance. I do. But the same thing was happening with snacking- they would eat half or a third of the apple, and be done. Or they would make themselves enough sandwiches, that their appetite for the next meal (which would be more nutritionally sound, mind you!) would be broken.

So I had to tighten things up. I had to create an environment where we were all more conscious of the blessings that we have in having abundant food, and be responsible with that abundance.

Firstly, we put an end to snacking. This was especially difficult for my middle child, for whom food and independance and choices and all that has such great ramifications for her little being. But we did it, explaining clearly that we weren't snacking, and after a while, she was a lot less anxious. She wasn't constantly asking for food, because she had the security of knowing a meal would be coming up sometime in the near future. She was releived of the need to ask and ask and ask. It would be provided anyway- when it was time.

The second thing, was making our "big meal" of the day at lunchtime, rather than dinner time. We all had more energy then- me, for preparing a meal, and the kids, to either help, or to play whilst I made it. I found myself appreciating the flavours, textures and nutrition of the good food I offered, simply because I had time-- I still had so much of the day ahead of me, instead of thinking of housework and bedtime routines and getting everyone through the meal so we could get on with all the jobs. It also gave us precious time to sit and connect and slow our rhythm down- being at home at lunchtime meant we couldn't spend all day out of the house, just morning, afternoon or neither.

Photo sourced from Pinterest

The third thing we did- which I did, and which really shifted things for us- was to collect up all of the leftover food from the day, put it in the fridge, and serve it up, buffet style for dinner at the end of the day. It sounds odd, but it was so easy, the kids didn't complain (after the first day or two), meant dinner time was simple and the food wastage problem was solved.

We kept our little meal time rituals, for continuity. We light a little candle at each meal, and someone gets to blow it out and make a wish. Sometimes we sing a blessing over the food, and sometimes we share the best parts of our day. It's a special time.

We are embarking on a new food adventure with our family now- gluten free. That's a whole other post...

So how do you do food in your family? How do you deal with food wastage, snacking, what are your little rituals? Please share in the comments below.

© Sammi Cambray/Sacred Whisper Bellingen 2014

Sammi is a holistic doula and birth counsellor, and the publisher of Sacred Whisper Bellingen

Ph: 0418 950 793

Silence and the Art of Holding Space

Silence is profound, and paradoxically, one of the most fundamental and effective components of listening.

When I speak of listening, I do not mean the unconcious listening that pervades much of the day- simply tuning in (or tuning out) to auditory stimulation. Instead, I mean the deep stepping in and heart opening that occurs when one sits as witness and container for another's expression.

Listening, in the true meaning of the word, is

Respectful
Without judgement
Compassionate
Facilitates the speaker to move onto the next stage of the process
An encounter with both self, and other; as well as that beyond the individual

To be silent, however, is such a key component. Not just silent of word, but silent of the mental chatter that clogs up our communication channels and seperates us right at the moment we intend to connect. Silence shifts us from mind space to heart space, and to body space, and the profound knowledge that lies there.

SIlence allows the speaker to follow their thread of consciousness where it is longing to go, and then gently, or abruptly, falls into an abyss.

That abyss is interesting. Apparently, it takes eighteen seconds from the start of silence, to come to a deeper awareness of what is going on underneath what has already been spoken. Eighteen seconds to gain an insight, eighteen seconds to become aware of a new facet of the issue, eighteen seconds to drop down.

How often do we give ourselves, or others, eighteen seconds?

This eighteen seconds has implications in so many areas. The lovers that find space to truly hear each other and break down the build up of patterning and habit; the parent that holds space for the child to voice some deep fears or let go of some cathartic tears. I can see immense implications for my work in counselling, and in birth work, especially in the very special time I spend with clients pre and post natally. It's such a charged, frenetic and emotional time; that conscious silence, well, it makes all the difference.

Let silence do the heavy lifting in your life, today. What does it manifest?




These reflections were inspired by the first day of Robyn Sheldon's doula workshop here in Bellingen. To know more about Robyn's work, have a look here. 

Sweet Dreams, My Children

There's a point in my day that always brings me to my heart: peace, softness and an expansive love that rejuvenates and replenishes, no matter how the family dynamics may have scuttled me earlier. It's the time, when I am sitting with my children as they fall sleep, a baby on each side, and my big boy up in his bunk bed beside us. I might hear a gentle snoring, or a child chatting softly to herself, I might see the dreamy gaze of those tired eyes, or feel the snuggliness of a little one finding just that right position under the covers.

Rhythm is a vibrant thread in our family tapestry, and given the above, one of the parts of family rhythm I find most nourishing is the bedtime rhythm. I'll share our bedtime here with you.

We start with a verse for moving to the bedroom together. There is a little candle glowing, and the lights are dimmed. The pyjamas are in the bedtime bags hung from the end of the bed and promptly put on, the beds are made, and hot water bottles await little bodies to warm. Who does all this, without the children realising it? Little fairies of course (or, perhaps Mama does it whilst the children were playing!).

Good Fairy, take me by the hand

And guide me to the Promised Land

Stars sing to me, while I'm asleep

Your gentle watch, forever keep,

So I may wake through all my days, 

I will follow Spirit's ways. 

After the children and I are in our pyjamas, there is some turn taking: a breastfeed for each of the babies, and a nice long cuddle with my big boy. We do this one at a time, so I can get some precious one on one time in. Whilst this is happening, the child who was 'Special Helper' that day chooses our bedtime story, and there is also usually some running and falling onto beds- until Mama reminds those cheeky little children that it is quiet time now!

We all snuggle up in one bed and read the chosen story, and at the moment, a page from a longer book. Then I sing: 

Who is ready for their rainbow?

Each of my children have a rainbow bunny rug from when they were little babies. I tuck them into bed, and lay the rainbow over the top of them one by one, singing:

Go to sleep now, precious (child's name)

Night is falling blue and deep

Stars are bright, and angels carry

Down from heaven, holy sleep

Slumber sweetly, dearest (child's name)

Night has come so blue and deep

Weaving dreams of silver starlight

Angels guide thy holy sleep

(Both these songs came from a little book of bedtime verses from my local Steiner playgroup, although I altered the first one a little to suit our spiritual needs. )

Some nights, but not often, my middle child will stay in her bed (and also giggling, ask for me to sing the lullaby to whatever toy she has chosen the special honour of sleeping with her that night!) Mostly, though, she will sneak into my bed whilst I sing to my littlest, so I have those two precious little ones on either side of me, or on my lap, or snuggled in my arms. 

Once they are all settled, I sing the Gayatri Mantra three times, their signal and invitation to deep, sweet slumbers. And then I sit there, in my mama bliss, soaking up the energy and presence of my children, without the demands, the dynamics and the "doing" that can distract us all from who they really are.

 

Dear Solitude- Hernani Wilderness Hut

Dear Solitude, 

About seven years ago, I broke up with you. It wasn't a clean break, and I admit that the little stolen rendezvous we have from time to time fill me with both bliss, and a yearning to have more of you. Yesterday we had an affair to remember, thirty one hours with you and only you. Breaking up was the wrong idea, and though I know our relationship can never be the same, I want you in my life- somehow- again.

 Love, Sammi.

The Hernani Wilderness Hut in twilight majesty

It's been a very long time since I have been able to indulge my need for solitude. The emptiness of being, I encounter myself there, and I find I like the person I meet. Solitude- and nature time- is how I rejuvenate, it's how I give the power back to the wiser self within me. And it's been too long since I gifted myself this, in my mothering.

I have been yelling, screaming, impatient, intolerant, unsettled, run down. Not mothering from the space I yearn to. I had to get out, refresh and rest.

I booked a night at the Hernani Wilderness hut, about an hour from Bellingen. It's located right on the Bicentennial Trail, near Guy Fawkes National Park and New England National Park. It is off the grid, a rustic, homely little nest that suited my purposes perfectly. 

 

The hut sleeps nine, but I was alone, and oh! That was bliss. I went with self-given permission to sleep for the entire time if I needed to. 

But when I arrived, when I took the time to walk the space, create my little nest for the night, and imbue it with a little of my own energy, it was clear to me that sleeping wasn't the biggest priority. 

Instead, I collected firewood, I did jigsaw puzzles (another thing I haven't done since having children, for fairly obvious reasons), I read (and read and read, with no interruptions), and I explored. 

As afternoon passed into night I went for a long walk along the bicentennial trail, and felt myself dropping into not the acute recuperation state that I had expected, but a deep, soulful healing place. As the almost-full moon rose, I walked that trail, followed by two young cows, my familiars for the journey.  At one point I looked up, and saw three statuesque red kangaroos standing at the top of the hill, watching me. They were ancient sentinels. 

I made an earth mandala, I sat inside a burnt out tree, I sang down the sun.

I returned, as the sun sank deep into the earth, to the hut. I lit the fire and sat for hours by it, eating simple food and reading. And then, has the most amazing, blissful, regenerative sleep! Oh, how I long for this solitude again.

Birth Doula Training Workshop- Mama Bamba

 

The flyer says it all really!

I have felt very called to be a part of this workshop, and things have fallen into place for me to attend. The women who have already committed to attend are an amazing bunch of women, and this will be a very special circle. 

 If you do attend, can you please let Robyn now I sent you!